Gay Eridans, RPing Humans and Imitation
by Cobalt-Sniper
Summary: An MSPArp chatlog featuring; shipping wars, Eridan impersonating Karkat, Karkat impersonating Eridan, and the mutual anger of two friends as they discover the extent of their fandom. Rated T for Karkat


**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 20:21**

**CA: hey wwhats up**

**CG: FINALLY. SOMEONE BESIDES THOSE WORTHLESS PEICES OF FLESH CALLED HUMANS**

**CA: yeah there seems to be alot of them around as wwell as a lot of davvesprites**

**CG: YOU'RE TELLING ME. I HAD ONE TRY TO SOLICIT ME FOR SEXUAL ACTIVITIES**

**CA: wwell. i wwas evven connected to a human vversion of you, named kain**

**CG: A HUMAN VERSION OF ME?****08:02:21**

**CG: OH MY SWEET TROLL JEGUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD**

**CA: im pretty sure most of the people on here are just humans pretendin to be us you knoww**

**CA: its wweird**

**CG: I REALIZE. IT FEELS GOOD TO KNOW THEY HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO ACT LIKE MATURE TROLLS, AS OPPOSED TO SNIVELLING WEAK PIECES OF PINK WASHCLOTH**

**CA: indeed**

**CA: so wwhats up?**

**CG: NOT MUCH. MAINLY TRYING TO AVOID THE DRUNK LALONDE, AND STEERING AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE AWAY FROM ANY HORNY BIRD SPIRITS**

**CA: i got connected to him twwice already. by the wway do you realise wwe actually havve a 'fandom'?**

**CA: theres a wweb comic and evverythin**

**CG: YES. I HAVE JUST AS MUCH INTERNET AS YOU DO, AND THUS REALIZE THE OBVIOUS FACT THAT WE HAVE A GOGDAMN WEBCOMIC**

**CG: IT IS VERY GRATIFYING**

**CA: its the fans of it that get wweird**

**CA: cosplayin and roleplayin. thats just wweird**

**CG: ALTHOUGH IT IS VERY HARD TO REALIZE, AS ALL HUMANS ARE NATURALLY CONFUSING AND IDIOTIC BY NATURE.**

**CG: THE ROLEPLAYING CAN BE ACCEPTED THOUGH, WHEN YOU REALIZE [I][U]NEPETA[/I][/U]**

**CA: wwhat makes it wworse is that theres evven vvideos. do me a favvour and do not look up a vvideo named sassy gay eridan. for both your sanity and mine**

**CG: YOU REALIZE THAT THE MOMENT YOU TELL ME NOT TO DO SOMETHING, MY IMMEDIATE REACTION IS TO DO JUST THAT**

**CA: please just dont look at it**

**CA: it make me look really stupid and wweird**

**CA: *makes)**

**CG: TOO LATE**

**CA: ...**

**CA: wwonderful.**

**CG: OH MY GOG WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THIS HORRIBLE VIDEO UP**

**CG: I AM LITERALLY ABOUT TO VOMIT**

**CA: i said not to look at it you wwere the idiot wwho did**

**CG: BUT IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR MENTIONING IT**

**CG: IF YOU HD JUST NOT MENTIONED IT WE COULD HAVE BOTH GONE ON WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT IT**

**CA: theres a vvideo of you and strider in black rom**

**CA: ivve seen it**

**CG: OH SWEET TROLL JEGUS**

**CG: I HATE THE INTERNET**

**CG: AND STRIDER**

**CA: theres not just one vvideo entailin you. theres lots. you are the one the fandom lovves**

**CA: you, gam and sol**

**CG: WELL YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THAT. I AM THE SEXIEST MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF ALL OF US.**

**CG: WAIT, SOLLUX?**

**CG: THAT IS NOT RIGHT**

**CA: yep**

**CG: JUST NO**

**CG: I REFUSE**

**CA: theres evven ships**

**CG: DOWNRIGHT REFUSED**

**CG: RIGHT HERE AND NOW**

**CG: CALL THE PRESSES**

**CA: wwell howw do you think i feel theres a ship named ERISOL**

**CA: thats me and fuckin sollux!**

**CG: THAT IS PRICELESS. IT ALMOST MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT.**

**CG: I GUESS YOU CAN'T BLAME THEM. REMEMBER ERISOLSPRITE?**

**CA: its not funny wwhen you realise you are shipped wwith me as wwell**

**CG: OH SHIT**

**CG: FUCKING NO**

**CG: THIS MUST BE STOPPED**

**CA: they think it wwould wwork. its a rather popular ship and sevveral peoples 'otp'**

**CG: OTP?**

**CA: dont you listen to nep? it means one true pairin. its the ship they vvalue abovve all others**

**CA: and thats just wwrong**

**CG: OH NO. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. I SWEAR, IF I HAVE TO FUCKING SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET TO DO IT, I WILL**

**CA: you couldnt hack it evven if you tried**

**CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T HACK, YOU MINDLESS BULGEMUNCHER**

**CA: fine. calm your shit. just look at this **** wiki/Karkat_Vantas**

**CA: you havve a wwikia page**

**CG: AS DO YOU **** WIKI/ERIDAN_AMPORA**

**CA: wwhy am i that short lookin?**

**CA: you knoww theres also headcanons as wwell right**

**CG: YOU ARE SHORT BECAUSE YOU, JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, ARE A TROLL!**

**CG: ALSO, NO SHIT**

**CA: i am not short for a start**

**CG: YES YOU ARE**

**CA: no. your the short one**

**CG: YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE**

**CA: the really short one**

**CG: FUCKING NO**

**CG: JUST NO**

**CA: the wwhole fandom agrees**

**CA: you are the shortest apart from nep**

**CG: YOU REALIZE THE ONLY REASON I STILL TALK TO YOU IS BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A HUMAN IN DUISGUISE**

**CG: AND BECAUSE I AM NOT TAKING MY CHANCES WITH ANOTHER DAVESPRITE**

**CA: and howw can you be sure? howw can i be sure you arent a human in disguise?**

**CA: your typin quirk isnt exactly hard**

**CA: actually hang on**

**CG: BECAUSE IF I WAS, I WOULD HAVE EXPLODED FROM THE SHEER DRAIN ON MY LIMITED HUMAN CAPACITY OF AWESOMENESS LONG AGO, AS NO HUMAN CAN EVER MATCH ME**

**CG: WHAT**

**CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING**

**CA: twwo seconds**

**CG: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING**

**caligulasAquarium [CA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG]. ~~ 1 ~~**

**CG: HA**

**CG: OH, YOU DID NOT**

**CG: OH I JUST DID**

**CG: HA**

**CG: THIS IS FUNNY**

**CG: NO MATTER**

**CG: YOU STAND NO CHANCE**

**CG: WWAIT WWHAT ARE YOU DOIN?**

**CG: I AM STILL THE ONE TRUE KARKAT, AND YOU ARE STILL THE ONE TRUE LORD OF THE SASSY GAYS**

**CG: I AM NOT.**

**CG: BUT EITHER WAY**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now caligulasAquarium [CA]. ~~ 2 ~~**

**CG: NO**

**CA: howw does it feel?**

**CG: YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT**

**CA: oh, but i did**

**CG: STOP IT**

**CG: YOU CANT IMITATE ME ANYWWAY**

**CA: because i, Eridan Ampora, am the sassiest gay there is**

**CG: STOP IT I AM NOT SASSY IN ANY WWAT**

**CG: *WWAY**

**CG: I DONT EVVEN KNOWW WWHERE THATS COME FROM**

**CG: NUBS. YOU ARE NUBS MC SHOUTY**

**CG: AND IM CALLIN YOU THAT FROM NOWW ON**

**CA: I twwirl around singing katy perry songs at fivve in the morning, wwishing i could be nearly halfwway as good as Karkat VVantas**

**CG: I DONT EVVEN LIKE THAT MUSIC. NUBS MC SHOUTY**

**CG: NUBS**

**CG: MC**

**CA: oh really, do you prefer John's shitty Nic Cage songs**

**CG: NO**

**CA: i kneww you had it for him**

**CG: NO. STOP THIS. WWHERE ARE YOU GETTIN THESE LIES NUBS?**

**CA: from the wwellspring of truth that is my awwesome nerdy knowwledge**

**CG: I AM NOT NERDY**

**CG: NOT EVVEN A LITTLE**

**CA: of course you aren't. Karkat VVantas is the one true sex lord**

**CG: THIS IS YOU: BLAH BLAH BLAH CANT HACK TO SAVVE MY LIFE. BLAH BLAH BLAH SHOUTY MUTANT BLAH**

**CA: i'm sorry, am i talking to Karkat VVantas or goddamn wwimpy Eridan.**

**caligulasAquarium [CA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG]. ~~ 2 ~~**

**CG: BACK BITCH**

**CG: I REALLY DONT CARE**

**CG: I REALLY DO**

**CG: IM NOT CHANGIN IT BACK.**

**CG: SO WHY DON'T YOU STOP PRETENDING TO BE ME, AND WE CAN HAVE WHAT PASSES AS INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION**

**CG: I CAN CHANGE IT BACK BUT I CANT REMEMBER THE HEX CODE FOR THE COLOUR!**

**CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO; JUST SWITCH YOUR CHARACTER BACK TO ERIDAN**

**CG: it wwont wwork**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now caligulasAquarium [CA]. ~~ 1 ~~**

**CA: see?**

**CA: i need the code**

**CG: 6AOO6A**

**CA: thanks i guess**

**CG: NO PROBLEM**

**CG: SEE**

**CG: I CAN BE HELPFUL**

**CA: indeed**

**CA: you rpin wwas terrible by the wway**

**CG: CONTRARY TO THE POPULAR BELIEF OF ALL THE BULGEMUNCHERS ON THAT GODFORSAKEN ROCK**

**CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP IT WAS BETTER THAN YOURS**

**CA: anywway im goin to havve to go theres somethin on the tvv i wwant to wwatch**

**CA: bye**

**CG: BYE**

**caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering carcinogeneticist [CG] at 20:38**


End file.
